***If you work from home, this aspect of self-care is especially challenging and all the more important! It is essential that you establish firm "office hours" where you can work as undisturbed as possible during the pre-dinner hours. If you are a single parent, or if your spouse also works from home, consider hiring a dependable high school or college student to care for your child/ren for a regular amount of time each week.
If finances are an issue, consider where in your budget that you could cut back, or see if the person would be interested in a bartering system where you exchange time for time or other helpful services. Maybe this student needs rides to/from after school sports; maybe their own parents work and they would really love to join your family for home-cooked meals; maybe they need help with their resume or need references for college credit. Your local high schools should be able to connect you with trustworthy students who may be interested in this kind of exchange.
If you are the only child care option available, then be determined to do everything domestic (cleaning, caring for kids, cooking/meal prep, errands, etc.) during the day so you can focus on your work either at night or early in the morning before your loved ones see the light of day.
Let's Get Personal:
I am NOT a morning person, but I have to admit there is something so amazing about the early morning before everyone else gets up. In order for me to even CONSIDER getting up early, I must...have...COFFEE! I consider prepping the coffee pot a gift to myself because it is something I look forward to which I can EASILY mess up if I am too tired. If you have ever started the pot without a mug underneath or started a Keurig without a K-cup, you know EXACTLY what I mean! Another gift is setting my clothes out the night before, ESPECIALLY if what I am planning to wear is in the dryer (I do NOT iron; therefore I buy wrinkle-free). I DETEST stumbling around looking for clothes when I barely know my name in the mornings. When I think about doing these extra tasks at night as “GIFTS for myself”, it takes the, “Ugg”, away and instead I have a peace knowing I am taking care of myself.
Evenings after everyone (even the cat) has gone to sleep are my sweet spot for work; however I have to be disciplined to turn everything off at a reasonable time and get my 8 hours in! This has become more of a challenge now that I have an almost teen! My son has later bedtimes now, so if I want to get some night work done, I have to outlast him! I much prefer the nights though, because I have a huge sense of peace knowing everyone is asleep and won’t be up for several hours. This is much different for me than in the mornings – I actually have anxiety knowing that each minute that goes by I’m getting closer to having to hustle and take care of everyone else’s needs. Go with your nature as much as possible, while still putting healthy boundaries around your sleep.
TAKEAWAY: The main thing I hope you remember in all this is that even when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and powerless, we still have CHOICES in when we work, how we work, and how we shut our “worker bee” down and just…be…US. Please take time to do that every day and trust me….you and your family will thank (a happier) YOU later!
